“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.”
Ezekiel 36:26 NLT
This is a scripture that I feel describes what God did for me. Now, I’m not one to throw the bible at you, because 1) I don’t know enough to preach, and 2) I constantly fail to practice what is preached, but I wanted to share a little bit about how this relates to me.
A few events had occurred in my life that somewhat began to send me into a downward spiral. Nothing major, but I kept finding myself in a few situations that were out of my element. I was raised a Catholic, and through habit, I followed God blindly. I don’t want you to take that in a negative way; I was always grateful for God and I did in fact fear him, but at this moment in my life, I was straying without even realizing. In my own young 21 year old mind, I thought, now this is me. This is me without caring what anyone else thinks about me, living my life the way I want to live it. Never once did I look at this life and remember, “no, wait, this isn’t the life I imagined I have.” I began to do things without considering a consequence or how it would affect others or myself. It’s not that I didn’t feel guilty, I didn’t feel at all. I was cold. Not in the sense that I was a complete B word, but my heart was a stone, like the scripture says. So many events came and passed during this time, and I can’t recall most of them because there is no feeling to associate them with. I was literally on a “highway to hell” and that never even crossed my mind. Don’t get the wrong idea, I wasn’t a total mess, but I forgot God. There was no one to forgive my sins, there was no one to guide me on the right path, there was no one to tell me right from wrong. He was there, but I had shut him out. I was so far deep in my mess, I couldn’t find my way back. And then, just like that (snap of a finger), he came looking for me, and he found me.
This is the day I met Sunny. (Settle down with thinking I’m getting super cheesy here!)
But, I met Sunny and one of the first things he asked me was, “Do you go to church.” “Yes, I’m Catholic,” I told him.
Associating myself with a strong religion when I couldn’t remember the last time I had been to church, I didn’t even realize that. He began to tell me how he recently began to attend church, bible study, and listen to K-Love.
I remembered K-Love, I used to listen to K-Love as a teenager. Still, I didn’t couldn’t connect the fact that I was in a slump because of my strayed relationship with God.
At the time that I met Sunny, we were both in relationships with other people. We were also both in a place where we didn’t want to be. We decided maybe it was a good idea that we try not to talk to each other as much as we had been, but we had so much to discuss.
Every morning on my way to work, I was talking to God, one on one conversations. I said, “God, what do you want me to do? I think I like this person, but maybe I’m doing something wrong. I don’t know what to think anymore.” Normally, I would’ve gone for it. Hell, I don’t care. Forget who’s going to get hurt, and forget if this is even going to last.. but I didn’t. I continued to ask God. “Tell me what to do God. Give me a sign.”, I begged. Over and over he gave me signs, but I still felt something was holding me back. Everything was holding us back from being together, everything but God. Things eventually fell into place, and we had a rocky start, but we stayed faithful to God. We continued bad habits, but kept praying and praying. Today, over 3 years later, we still both have flaws. Our hearts and minds will never be completely sin free, but I will always pray that God prepares us to be worthy enough for him. He saved me after all I did to disgrace him, after I completely forgot him after all he’s given me, he was still by my side. He removed my heart of stone and replaced it with a “responsive heart”. Now I follow God with hope and a full heart. I understand he loves me more than I can fathom. I am forever grateful.
This scripture is provided by http://www.klove.com
K-Love is a radio station that plays contemporary Christian hits, along with providing prayer, word of the day, on staff pastors, and many other daily inspirational segments. The radio station is known as “Positive, encouraging, K-Love.”